kit&xinting hiding!.. them. all so engrossed in own stuffs~ im lil miss chatterbox wit a pimple. ): in bus. sit till butt pain. dark. at hotel room. before slp must zilian. before slp. wo men yao zilian! pillowfight!.,. hello!~ th mess we created. LOL th bedroom slippers super kawaii nd comfy! distorted-me&vian me&shirley me,kit,shirley,debbie&rowena. BLACKS! LOL. love thm lotssssssssssssss~ jiatoh! lols. we yi jia ren larh!
TWINS! same shirt,same kitty bolster,same lala! superwomans!~ messy luh,my hair! 4 ppl squeeze in 1 bathroom. =.= from bottom,xinting,me,vian,shirley Rowena! thanks for your concern! swear ilu ilu!! superwoman dunt cry mosquitoto LOL emo wit my hellokitty!.. see my eyelashes sibeh long siol.
debbie: lol. i knw!!.. ilu! (: ping: i knw. (: thanks alott! imissyou much~ haa.. you suck!: eh. i dunt nid your comments. th way i walk or whatever is my buisness. im a bitch? LOL. haha. thts good luh. i shall bitch slap you if i knw who you are. -,- you dunt even have th decency t state your name. are you hum or wht? state your name all tht if you are not a coward. nd yea. anything dunt cum spam pls. talk t me face t face. dots: (: thanks. lol. tell me who you are can? i kind of can guess you who ehs. hmm. just not comfirm. haha~ anw just thanks alot. dunt rlly nid t bother abt dis kinda no balls ppl. dunt even nid t slap. haahaa~ dirty your hands. =.- victim: you're? i am mean t you mehs. im only mean t bitches&bastards or other times im just playing yea. lol. those ppl who deserve t be trit nice by me are trit nice. im not scolding you or wht. just want you understand.
gg t malacca tml. sad~ ltr at nite gg t talk tong xiao wit teckhwee on fone. if not tml sure cant wake up on time! lol. mit vian tml early t have breakfast tml. and recently life at sch is so sian yea. sorry ppl if i made you worry abt my depressing posts dis past few days. im feeling much much better now. ty those who ask abt me nd all~ and xinting!.. ilu too. so swit of you t post nd cheer me up.
anw went home early today nd prepared stuffs for tml's trip. mummy gave me 300bucks in ringgit. guess should be enough. th stated amount is 100 ringgit enough. buy alot of stuffs back for friends!.. haa~ oks~ im gg out t cwp buy tidbits!! byebye!
i miss you...., your warmth,your voice,your smell,your hugs,your kisses,.. and everything about you.♥
i feel so dead. last time ppl feel suicidal,cry, feel like dying for love. i just laugh. now its happening t me. yet i still believe....
i miss you.. i really miss you so much.
i havent been eating for 2days. and today my weight is 37.4kgs. im just drinking water, i dunt knw wht i am doing also. dunt eat also not hungry. hope i die fast end dis pain. promise huiling&yingping i will move on. i will ask for a brk. i will get well. i knw i dunt want t die. yet i want t die. contradicting isnt it? i want t die bcos i dunt want t face all th pain. i dunt want t die bcos wht would happen t vivian,my family,my friends? and weiren. hais. i still care alot about his feelings. sorry, i dunt think i can let go. and ytd i had a nightmare,.... i dreamt tht he left me. and i fucking broke out in tears infront of my parents. ppl think im crazy already. after all tht happened how can i not be crazy.
anyway ty baoying,yingping,huiling. sorry yp, you say me until so pekcek yet im still so stubborn. huiling, i will remember my promise t you and your promise t me. (:
i dunt knw wht t do. rly dunt knw lerh. i dunt want t add on t your burden. i knw you stress i knw. other thn cry and cry. lie t myself, i dunt want t let go. you alrdy not bothered with me, not bothered wit my feelings. you used t pamper me so much, now you're treating me like you dunt care. it hurts alot. i want t knw wht i've gone thru is worth it. i still believe we can overcome tis. but why ppl discouraging me telling me my efforts will not pay off. i dunt wanna close my eyes, whn i close my eyes.. all i think of is you,you and you. i am sorry. these few days i thought back of whatever happen between us. i knew i was wrong, you were always th one t apologised. how regretful was i t start those quarrels. how silly. i am very afraid t lose you. bcos i knw i cant afford t. these few days, i have not been myself. i wonder whn's th last time i laughed. i dunt want t cry anymore.... why is love so sweet and after tht hurts so much. dunt go. dunt leave me. i remember you said you'll never leave me. dunt leave me alone. please? i still love you. im still replaying your favorite songs... wo she bu de ni. wo hai ai ni.
B, i wanted to tell you that i loved you, but you just...........walked away.
my heart has too much emotion i dunt knw whr t start. mr goh commented tht B's gonna retain. ): B didnt bother t wait for me today.): _l_fuck. and wht more. ppl give me advice everyone think for him, not me. my feeling nobody knws. its a mess. hais~~~~~~~ sad to say, nobody spares a thought for me. everyone thinks for themself only. its not fair.
B, i dunt want quarrel wit you. i dunt want seperate wit you. i dunt even want t talk things out. B, i just want me&you t be happy tgt nd last long. ): hubby, i dunt mind whatever efforts i give in. i still believe my efforts would be repaid. ): ): ):
love is like standing on wet cement. th harder you try t leave, th more prints you'll leave behind.
mdm soh reads my blog. -.- nd i got my 5th pink form today. oh my tian ah. sibeh derh suayyyy! i'am late for my 8th time at sch today. nd wth. i failed everything except for my english. fustrated. i hate sch i dunt want go sch whn i fail basicly everything! how t get promoted next year? fuck. i'am normal academic but B thy all express luh! boy's result same as mine larh, all fail except english. oh my tian. die tgt larh.
deres sch tml nd im bored like nobody's buisness. i went out t mit an old friend today nd slacked wit her. it took about only 3 hours. tht is i only spent 3hours out of th house today. good anw, its boring boring & boring... i cant get thru B's cellphone, nd i miss him. ):
im kind of worried bcos, im insecured of whts gonna happen next on tht paticular date. ahhhh! fuckfuckfuck. wht will happen. its not wht will happen, but its bcos so many unexpected things MAY happen. nothing is impossible. ): ): AHHHHH~!!! think i'll go mad. hope thy knw whts th limit &(*&(&^%$%^ grrrr. RAWR,.. i just hope nth will happen t spoil my mood&make me lose my temper.
and yea. get your hands off my boy. he is mine. ♥♥♥
went swimming wid 6sisters, minus vivian&shirley. + jaron. woke up late,made thm wait. im so sorry. so many ppl sms me. scared tio. thn justin in wdl also. mit him t talk awhile. saw yingping&her friends,kokhoe,thy all. jinchong sms me ask whr t alter pants. thn we camwhore&lalala in th mrt, at chinese garden station saw junlong. shout his name he dint hear,. nvm luh. thn we proceed t jurong east. B called me t chat. [: there are somethings he refused t say... hais, i dunt knw why. thn went swimming it rained. -.- kena drived up luh. thn B alrdy tell me jurong area raining. i dunt listen. bcos edmund at tht area. lols. thn at thr go lazy pool play, i walk nd pull xinting&jaron&debbie along. thn some pcb disturb me. -.- wth. his fucking float bump into me i scold him thn he like very happy liddat. tmd, go do smth constructive! =.= go t th wave thr very very scary! kit piggybacked me&debbie carry me. bcos i too short liao. thn th wave come i cant breathe. lols. thn some fucking ah neh bump into me. jitao chaogan him luh. my mood alrdy not good can!! thn play play awhile went up t bath all tht. went out smoke whn im done. knn. some guy i smoke also need t comment. "wht cig you smoke ah?" "you wht sch?" "want go DXO chiong?" i already say mood not good right!!!!!! tht guy say he frm ast. haa. thn whn B called, he ask me glh better or ast? obvious right, glh. [: bcos got my B!! thn went eat kfc wid dey all. nd mrt-ed back t wdl. bought donuts for my didi. yummylicious~ thn whn i reach home,it was close t 10pm. daddy like not happy leis. he say wht have i done. after tht found out my hp bill high again. $300plus. he took away my hp thn end of month take back. ok luh,nvm. i can use house phone anw,.. took lotsa photos. wait for thm t sent me luhs. chat wid xinting&jaron. we're lucky t have each other. i think im luckier. i have more friends like B thr th group. but also more problems luh. 多得到的东西，都要付出代价。(: hmm. im tired out~ bye!
Wo~城市灯火 对比我内心的落寞 我恨我自己的软弱 离不开你的温柔 另一个我提醒着我 不能永远对你宽容 连自己要什么都没把握 以后如何面对生活 Oh~我就是太念旧 习惯的东西舍不得丢 说委屈 不如说爱你爱得太重 Because I Want You 跟自己在拔河 能怎样呢 爱你的两个我 迷途在进退之间 Because I Love You 跟自己在拔河 你有多爱我 爱过我什么 我会倾听着 别让我等得太久 我天一亮就要离开 还给你全部的自由 你会感到愧疚还是解脱 我很在乎你的感受 Wo~我一数到九十九 电话仍坚持他的沉默 这一刻 我知道我输掉了所有 ???
whts wrong. im very very emo today. he's still by my side. he assured me saying im th one&only in his hart. but... why am i still so emo?
i cried like for soso many times today? whenever i hear some songs. today at kbox i sang S.H.E's mo li. saw th mtv, their bond was soso strong... just like me&vian. felt touched. sing&teared at th same time. thn next is.. ella's qiang qiang. touched again. t how ella treasure nd love her dog. "好狗狗，好狗狗，谢谢你陪伴我那么久 你并没有离开我，只是搬到天堂生活." thn wenlan's sha gua.. saw th mtv, im reminded of myself. sha gua. forgive&forgets. tolerate&forgets. this is th mtv. listen&see th video.
at kbox went out t chat on fone wit hubby. saw derrick. chat wit him luh. so qiao. his room next next t mine. reached home at eightplus. im tired out~ anw i bought th electric-blue spags tht yingping&i saw tht time. thts all. tml gg swimming wit 6sisters.. and im gg t mit B awhile tml. pass him stuffs i bought for him. B, i love you. i hope you're true t me.. trit me better pls. love me,pamper me,dote me more. ilu*
pls numb th pain. it hurts so much. how can someone break your hart into a million pieces yet you love him all th same with th tiny pieces inside? is tht fair? is tht fair? is tht fair? im crying my eyes blind. not sleeping a wink ytd, nd tears pouring th wholenight. imagining wht happened between him&her. thinking back on our past. how he used t hold my waist so tight. maybe its her waist he's holding now. how we thought abt our future. all our plans are crumbling into dust. how we fell asleep in each other's arms. does she feel as warm as i am? how he pat-pat me t sleep. maybe he is doing it t her now,.. how he used t swit-talk me. is he using it on another girl? i heard abt how she praised him. tht was exactly wht i said. i cant help but think and cry. remember times we spent tgt. th first time you held my hand.... th first time you hugged me, i remember it all so clear. th first time we kissed, i remember th place and how it started. i remember th way you smell nd i remember your warmth. remember i bought you food, remember i made breakfast for you. remember i wiped your sweat away, and i remembered tht you told me not t wear my spags bcos it was too revealing and i didnt... i remember you always told me even without makeup im pretty. remember whn you sucked my bleeding finger t take th pain away. remember you took care of me during chalet whn im sick and whn im drunk... remember you said "乖ok?,我爱你，我永远都在,我不会走的。。" whn i was drunk...and i believed you. i remember whn you piggybacked me home. remember you said i was your 宝贝老婆。。)': )': and i remember it all...... everything tht is worth living for is now flying away from my hands. it is so pain how he talk abt her how thy never run out of topics t talk abt. why is she better thn me? i feel like a loser. loser! i feel so bad. so worthless. felt so stupid i was worth nth at all. i feel so lousy. its so unfair. how i wished i could scream,cry all my tears out,make a fuss out of it,.. but doing all tht would only make ppl think im unreasonable. he is mine,but his hart belongs t her,.. i love him but he used my love for him fall on nth. 付出的我收不回。。。 想念早上一起来就感觉的到你的体温的感觉..
i hate stomach cramps. =.= spoil mood,spoil my day. spoil two perfect days for gg out. can anyone imagine i stay at home 2 days leis. bore si wo le. ): ): ): monday want go out liao. bth. -.- kit jio go swimming wit 6sisters. maybe?.... haha.
hais. very shag luh. wonder whts wrong wit B siol. B like trit me very very cold. maybe i two days at home tht why hu si luan xiang? maybe he busy barh. B is working for today & tml. monday,tuesday.... can go out. but wednesday sch starts. SIAN>< hope B mits me soon. miss him~ so fast B and me already tgt for more than half a year. super dependant on him alr. how how? think i'll die if he left. ): bye!
overly-sensitive?
Waking up to find another day The moon got lost again last night But now the sun has finally had its say I guess I feel alright
But it hurts when I think When I let it sink in It's all over me I'm lying here in the dark I'm watching you sleep, it hurts a lot & all I know is You've got to give me everything Nothing less cause You know I give you all of me
[CHORUS] I give you everything that I am I'm handin' over everything that I've got Cause I wanna have a really true love Don't ever wanna have to go & give you up Stay up till Four In The Morning & the tears are pouring & I want to make it worth the fight What have we been doing for all this time? Baby if we're gonna do it, come on do it right
All I wanted was to know I'm safe Don't want to lose the love I've found Remember when you said that you would change Don't let me down It's not fair how you are I can't be complete, can you give me more? & all I know is You got to give me everything & nothing less cause You know I give you all of me
[CHORUS] I give you everything that I am I'm handin' over everything that I've got Cause I wanna have a really true love Don't ever wanna have to go & give you up Stay up till Four In The Morning & the tears are pouring & I want to make it worth the fight What have we been doing for all this time? Baby if we're gonna do it, come on do it right
Oh please, you know what I need Save all your love up for me We can't escape the love Give me everything that you have
& all I know is You got to give me everything & nothing less cause You know I give you all of me
[CHORUS] I give you everything that I am I'm handin' over everything that I've got Cause I wanna have a really true love Don't ever wanna have to go & give you up Stay up till Four In The Morning & the tears are pouring & I want to make it worth the fight What have we been doing for all this time? Baby if we're gonna do it, come on do it right
(Give you everything) (Give you all of me)
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
what a tiring day. i feel so shag/tired/EXHAUSTED/bloated/contented/happy. what a strange mixture of feelings. [:
there is no sch today. i met up wit yingping t go out wit her. mrt-ed from wdl to yishun. yishun to amk. amk back to wdl. at amk, we saw a plain spag i want t go back nd buy. yp wanted blue but i want green. i want eat at newyork-newyork leis! th menu seem like all th food so yummy. ut th price is $%#^%#@^% de lur. nvm. whn B gets his pay............... (hahahaha) mrt-ed back t wdl thn after tht slack&smoke. thn liddat luh. daddy ring me up whn im in th mrt. he say we go eat! HAPPY (: thn whn i reach cwp, he come fetch me. we went t eat yummy food. very famous newly opened western meal. www.botakjones.com -check it out. it even has website eh. i ate their cheese&ham sandwich. yummy~ yp go t kokhoe's house i think. thy at dere slack slack. i miss my B/hubby/boy/boyfriend/cuppycake/daddy(same person! HAHA) luhs! 每一天发生的事情我都好想要跟你讲 feel like telling him everytime tht happend everyday. i miss gossiping wit him even tho it was just ytd.
ok. im gg t bed! comp is lag,peiyee is shag.(eh it rhymes) TATA~!
Tuesday, October 09, 2007
today had th last papers, so shiok luh. dunt have t study already! i dunt have sch till next wednesday. which means i have 5days of free time. today, i like no mood luh. slack awhile at 883 carpark & went over fushan find th others. so fuck up larh. i today maciam no mood luh. went home after tht, recieved hubby's call. he was like asking me why i so shag luh. tmd. no need ask also knw! boos~ talk talk thn he made me laugh like crazy ppl. -.= haa! gg t talk t hubby now! bye~
---back---- im very very happy after chitchatting with hubby for 1hour plus. [: he is a great boyfriend(mine),hubby(MINE!), boy(mine+share with his parents),daddy(to our baby apple), cuppycakee(totally mine :D )!.... hee~! i ♥ him. he is always th one who put a smile on my face (tho he makes me cry like %#^$%) he is always there t sayang me whn i get hurt or injure, whn i choke or cough he will always pat pat my back. and most impt of all, he makes all th pain goes away. [: love is sweeeeet. ♥♥♥
有时候对一个人那么用心 却还是搞不清楚他的逻辑
谈恋爱谁没演过一点戏 装没事装忘记装小心翼翼
有时候和一个人那么亲密 却还是忍不住想保护自己
谁恋爱不曾藏一点秘密 留防备留回忆留心情
谢谢你总是陪我分享 不能跟情人说的话 我反反复复你也从不笑我 老是骂他却又离不开他
谢谢你总是替我收藏 不想跟情人说的话 我胡思乱想你一直握着我手 让我释放然后慢慢宽广
别人都说我很坚强 只有你劝我别逞强 爱是漂亮却不完美的天堂 旧了总有需要修补的地方 those in pink dedicated t vivianteo. [:
today my mood is good. [: happy leis.. today maths paper i think i no hope lerh. prepare die barh. ppl use 3 pieces of paper tie tgt. i cant even finish 1 piece lur. bcos th whole paper i only did 2 qns. T.T thn i only use 10min do th 2 qns. fuck siol... thn after tht still have 1 hour plus left, i slept nd spent th time squeeze my pimple. LOL tmd. i hatepimple break-outs! tml have literature paper. its th last paper. yay. tht means shopping&chalets&alots fun! HELLO SUNSHINE!.. AND HELLO TO PARTY-ALL-DAYS PARTY-ALL-NIGHTS AND WHAT NOTS! well anyway!!!............ went cwp with th guys. split into 2 diff groups. thy at mac, we at yoshinoya. [: yummy. boy say i very waste cos i never eat finish th food. thn after tht bus-ed t nicholas house wit hubby,jinchong,weiting,nicholas,.. smoked&slacked thr. had pillowfight wit thm. so fun! turn out weiren,jinchong&i got irritated nose. kip sneezing non-stop! thn spent time wit hubby smoking thy all were inside doing their stuffs. chats abt basicly nth but rubbish. love those sweet talks. thn i left wit hubby first at 4plus. left thm at dere luh. sent my boy t his blk. he is so cute. haa. his goodbye kisses are always so sweet.
dear diary, there's too many emotions inside me, i just cant find th right words t type. shall blog out why bcos i feel like bursting from all th stress & pressure.
1)i dunt feel like im treated right. i feel like i've been treating ppl nice, but wht kind of lj attitude have thy been giving me? is it worth it treating ppl who treat you as rubbish nice? no,i guess.
2)i am very unhappy with things gg on at home. my mother has changed. she knws im not happy, she knws im stressed. but she adds on t th stress i have. this is pissing me off. pls.
3)and you knw, theres this special someone i love alot. he has just broke his promise t me. crack. you knw it hurts but you just have t pretend its all ok. but haha. i just spent 2hours crying alone in my room and i feel tht i am gg t have a fever real soon. but, i forgive him,....
4)ppl has been passing DAMN$%#^% comments abt me thts bringing me down. thank you. and congrats!! you have just made me felt more useless and more uglier than i already am. (:
5)finally something positive but it is killing me. i seem t have cut down alot on smoking. my 5-8 sticks per day is now 1-3 sticks per day. great improvement but my appetite seems super good. im afraid i'd have t go for slimming soon,..
i feel better after blogging tis out. i really miss my bf now,.......... bye, im gg t wait for his call now. hope he calls real soon.
love is blind,(: and no matter how much it hurts you, you still feel like loving him. <3
Thursday, October 04, 2007
dunt like th way you are now. fuckingdunt like.
i miss elmo daddy, tml he's fetching me frm sch. [: yingping's sick. hope she's better now. vivian and i lame in sch & after sch today. 1) i did art. 2) had no mood. 3) felt like crying. 4) went to smoke. 5) chat with vivian. 6) cover th floor with my tears.
i dunt deserve t be treated tht way ok. fuck.(i shall swear more and drive those fuckers away.) #%#^%#% ^%$#!!!!!!
i ♥my bf. being with him gives me a sweet,nice feeling.
urm, tml's math paper. dead. X_X but smth else's on my mind. fuck. chaocheeeebyeeeeeeee~ sorry i had t swear,.. bcos im super unhappy. ok stop. no more swearing!
--------------------
i miss th nights we spent tgt, whn you fall asleep next t me. your body feels so warm. i love cuddling up next to you, and i love th way you smell. and i love t see you first thing in th morning whn i wake up. memories are just so sweet.
BYE!
WTF. cant help it im swearing again. omg. saw smth tht PISSED me off in msn. bloooody shiatttt. =.= knn. go out once only at dere show off nd kpkb. wth. dua pai uh. DOG. so long since im angry bcos of someone im not even close with. zzzzzzz since you're such a DOG. GO BARK LA. BARK AT RIVERSIDE OR 883 LA. cb cb cb cb cb cb cb cb cb cb cb cb wht a wonderful way t spoil ms chengpeiyee's mood. better stop bcos its my 2nd post for th day and i cant stop swearing.
im at 883 lanshop now. im shag~ wtf. i tink im gg t die. so many things come knocking on my door. like wtf. someone give me a slap on my face pls. ARBISH* tmd i rlly no mood la. =.= ZZZZZZZZZ
